How to Feel Sexy for Life

Don't let your age keep you from experiencing the pleasures of intimacy. Although libido may lessen as you age, here's how to feel sexy for a lifetime.

By Dennis Thompson Jr.

Medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH

As you grow older, it’s easy to lose that spark in the bedroom. Boredom, loss of adventurousness, physical ailments, and other problems can challenge even the healthiest of relationships over time, causing a loss of libido and creating emotional distance. But keeping intimacy alive can have profound effects on your life.

Research shows that healthy people have better sex lives. Fit people enjoy sex more and have lower instances of sexual dysfunctionthat can impair their love life. If you’re experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here’s how to feel sexy again.

Intimacy Tip No. 1: Stay Healthy

To keep your libido revved for lovemaking you should:

• Exercise regularly. Your arousal depends in large part on how well blood flows through your body. Regular aerobic exercise helps keep the heart pumping and the blood flowing.
• Eat right. Eat a diet low in fats and sugars and high in fiber and good nutrition. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, plenty of whole grains, and a good daily amount of low-fat dairy products. Protein should come in the form of fish, poultry, and lean meats.
• Sleep well. Good, healthy sleep gives your body the chance to refresh and recuperate.
• Stop bad habits. Alcohol and tobacco can harm sexual function and can negatively affect your overall health.

Intimacy Tip No. 2: Communicate

Partners with a satisfying sex life talk to one another; those with an unsatisfying one need to talk to one another.

• Voice your concerns. Tell your partner about changes in your body that worry you along with any other issues that bother you about your sex life.
• Describe what makes you feel good. Your partner can’t satisfy you if he doesn’t know what you desire.
• Don't criticize. Focus on what he’s doing right, rather than pointing out the things he’s doing wrong.
• Talk at the right time. During lovemaking is the right time for discussing what you like and enjoy. Save your concerns, worries, and more negative issues for outside the bedroom.

What Happens During an Orgasm

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Intimacy Tip No. 3: Improve Your Own Game

Try these ways to be a better lover:

• Think about sex. The brain is an important — some say the most important — sexual organ. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.
• Touch. Maintaining physical affection is critical to keeping a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss, and hold hands often, even if you're tired or not in the mood for sex. During lovemaking, experiment with touching your partner in ways that please and arouse him.
• Educate yourself. There are plenty of self-help books available that will give you tips on improving your sexual technique.

Intimacy Tip No. 4: Have Fun

Don't forget that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Be sure to have fun in the bedroom (and elsewhere) by:

• Trying out different sexual positions. The tried-and-true missionary position can become stale. Experiment.
• Taking a break from intercourse. Try pleasing each other with oral sex, manual sex, massage, and caressing.
• Being inventive. Leave love notes. Plan an erotic getaway. Try making love at different times of the day. Read a love poem. Craft a scene that appeals to all five senses. Try having sex in different locations.

Most importantly, have sex and enjoy intimacy on a regular basis with your partner.

Learn more in the Everyday Health Sexual Health Center.

Last Updated: 05/10/2012

Ref:everydayhealth