She’s Saving Young Suicidal Girls

Remember Cecilia Cheung of the infamous Edison Chen sex scandal shitstorm of 2008? Turns out she’s been doing good deeds, maybe to make up for the hot fappable shit she’s unleashed upon the interwebs (which if you’d ask me, is nothing to be sorry for! I’m eating breakfast right now with bacon that resembles exactly Cecilia Cheung’s twat!).

Anyway, says some news report that I’m paraphrasing, Cecilia was in Inner Mongolia during a shooting when she played an active role in saving a young girl who was about to jump off the rooftop of some building. Ain’t that so superhero-like?

Cecilia was apparently resting in her hotel room when she looked out the window and saw a girl standing on top of a building–and instantly Cecilia decided THE GIRL’S ABOUT TO JUMP, WTF! So what Cecilia did, she bolted out her room, went to the elevator, pressed “G” for groundfloor, cursed the Wondergirls muzak, called up her assistant so they could meet outside the hotel, waited for a taxi, told the taxi driver to “Step on the gas, motherfucker!”, asked the taxi driver to help her and her assistant to stop the young girl from jumping off the rooftop that she had seen ten hours ago, and upon arriving at the building whose rooftop the young girl was standing, the taxi driver told the building’s security guard about the young girl that Cecilia had seen on the rooftop 11 hours ago, the security guard called up the police, police arrived QUICKLY, went to the elevator, pressed “P” for penthouse or something, chatted with Cecilia on the way up about her deep, personal thoughts on shaving one’s vagine, and for some fucking reason, when all of this has taken place, they found the girl still standing on the rooftop “trying to commit suicide.”

Now I smell something, and I think it’s pee, and it’s in my fucking pants.

The end. With a quote, apparently from Cecilia:

“Life is precious, hope everyone can cherish it. Some people don’t even have a chance to live. Those who are able to live, must live it well. Don’t give it up that easily.”